Mentality

The special word of the of this blog post is Positivity. So Friday I spoke to one of my close friends whose also an actor and he was telling me how he is flying out to la as one of the shows he’s in is getting picked up which is great news and just bought a smile to my face. Then I caught up with another friend on Saturday who told me he had just been cast in a new tv show with a very famous actor as a series regular which was again fantastic news. 

<p>Sunday I had two auditions on the opposites of London for short films I found myself, which felt good, I hadn&#8217;t auditioned in a while and I was using these auditions as a way to keep myself busy and also as a way to be in a place where I feel comfortable to make mistakes, so when I do have my auditions gathered from my agent I think l will be less nervous, but the key thing is I feel different, compared to how I have been feeling/behaving the last couple of months. I've been so negative about myself compared to the person I was In 2011 till mid 2012 who was extremely positive and just remembering how that positive energy brought positive moments to my life are memories and feelings I cherish and want to feel again. So the word for this week and now on is Positivity .

Extreme is the key word here

4/03/13

I dream of a brighter day, a brighter post...

I always start with the back pages of a newspaper, football fan so its a must. Reading the 
evening standard talking about the demise of Arsenal FC & how bad their current squad is.  
I now begin to flick through the paper where I see the advertisement of a programme which I auditioned for starting tonight. See how I once again used the word "auditioned" and as the programme is starting tonight you can most likely guess I didn't get the part, story of my short career so far.


The life of an actor is one that I have come to the conclusion is "not real". I come to this conclusion from my own experiences, these experiences switching back and forth from extreme highs and extreme lows, the word "extreme" will always be associated with actor. The extreme comes from the mistake/risk actors tend to take,  having hope. Hope so incredibly large they/we end up believing it will happen and this could be it, the beginning,/the defining moment, when it doesn't happen, as you can imagine the lows are painful to the extent silly thoughts blossom in the mind sometimes silly things are taken for the desperate need to escape. The actor is putting all his/hers/my focus on this career, forcing their way through this invisible barricade and leaving behind the friends, the brothers/sisters they had, not intentionally but assuming they wouldn't be able to understand them now that they have chosen to become an actor.... I remember one casting I had in the early stages of doing this and the casting director said to me I would lose all my friends when trying to break into this industry...oh how he wasn't lying, I seem to have a lot of acquaintances, few friends, few brothers, some have seemed to switch around categories, moving up or moving down.
Once again bare with me, I dream of a brighter day, a brighter post.