I really do see my life as a CRAZY PLAY...
Since we got back to BRIT I haven't found the same Love that I had for it, just hasn't been there. The Spark felt like it'd gone. Felt like I had changed A LOT to attempt please more people and attempt to not offend so many people(well a few) and by doing that I found unhappiness in myself and STILL not pleasing people... made me want to just leave BRIT, finish the final major shows in January & just go cause there's no point in really staying at a place where you feel unhappy in the certain area/group thats supposed to be your comfort zone.
^^ I was just thinking about that all last night, then I had a random idea to go tomorrow(this morning) and attempt to get 1 of the 20 £10 tickets released at 10am for the AMAZING play Jerusalem By Jez Butterworth starring Mark Rylance.
So yeah I get there for 6.50am and there is a couple there who have camped over the night(well got there at 4am) so its literally just us 3 outside the Apollo Theatre in our sleeping bag, I later on meet a lady who just performed at the Globe Theatre in the production Faustus, but anyway...
This is a really bad blog by the way
BUT I saw Jerusalem and was literally flabbergasted by the play and the performances especially in Mark Rylance! it was ..... I don't know how to describe it and my determination to get tickets and camp out from 6.50am paid dividends as I got FRONT ROW MIDDLE SEAT TICKETS! So to see the performance and be right at the front was AMAZING! BUT yeah I just literally can't get over the performance of Mark Rylance its sooo INSPIRING!!! Like THE BEST PERFORMANCE I HAVE EVER SEEN! Never EVER seen someone so in character!
Such an INSPIRING performance it literally like SPARKED and RECHARGED my batteries! I was literally HOPPING around the bus stop like a kangaroo cause the feeling is bouncing up inside me! And I can gladly say I'm back! Regardless of if I'm pleasing people or not or if they are talking behind my back..
I'M BACK! I really dont care! I'm not going to let anyone have the ability to bring me down and prevent me from reaching the final goal...
Wednesday, 19 October 2011
Sunday, 2 October 2011
Regrets & being Speechless:The BigDream Continues
First of all I'd like to remind/tell you its A COLE WORLD!! J Cole's DEBUT Album is the biggest selling Rapper album since Nicki Minaj and is on course to sell between 225,000-250,000 from Tuesday-Saturday. Waiting for the confirmation Today, and is also on course to be #1 On The Billboard Album Chart!!<<<You've helped me out Loads, crazy what music can do!
Why isit? Everytime I write a blog I am at Andrew's house and him and Corey are both completely KONKED out!<<< I'm moving in with these losers too, so its a sight I shall be getting used to.
It was my birthday two days ago!! Turned 18! Mad cause some people think I'm 19 lol.....some of you girls were older, so it was a necessity otherwise I'd get the "Your Cute" Line...
So as I begin this blog I see a tweet from ChrissyBoo91 "Making decisions when your mad is never a good idea" funny cause with my last blog post I did the complete opposite of that and made a decision when I was mad. I've apologized to the people(3) involved...for making it so public...end of that play.
So....I got the part I wanted. Prior Walters From Angels In America Part 1 Directed by the Amazing Imogen Brodie.
I was pretty speechless throughout the whole day. For the first time in a long time I was speechless. From Wednesday to Friday I wasn't myself..people saw me being so quiet, leaving school so early, not answering my phone not even writing inspirational messages on twitter, instead I wrote "I'm a strong follower of the word believe, but for the first time in my life, I'm struggling to believe". Maybe it was because it was the first time I had actually done what I was saying I'd do "Work even when your sleeping" etc. Maybe it was because it was the first time I had worked sooo hard on something and was not relying on the false belief "Hope" "Luck" that I would get the part, that what people had being saying to me through these years "its not just about working hard/how hard you work" was TRUE, fortunately that wasn't the case, but it was a really nervy movement and made me realize how HARD I will have to work to get into Drama School on my first attempt...BIG ASK, I know but we will have to wait and see...The #BigDream Continues....
P.S.
To the two girls I wrote a private message on Facebook...don't forget what I said...and don't let anyone tell you it isn't true..cause it is
Why isit? Everytime I write a blog I am at Andrew's house and him and Corey are both completely KONKED out!<<< I'm moving in with these losers too, so its a sight I shall be getting used to.
It was my birthday two days ago!! Turned 18! Mad cause some people think I'm 19 lol.....some of you girls were older, so it was a necessity otherwise I'd get the "Your Cute" Line...
So as I begin this blog I see a tweet from ChrissyBoo91 "Making decisions when your mad is never a good idea" funny cause with my last blog post I did the complete opposite of that and made a decision when I was mad. I've apologized to the people(3) involved...for making it so public...end of that play.
So....I got the part I wanted. Prior Walters From Angels In America Part 1 Directed by the Amazing Imogen Brodie.
I was pretty speechless throughout the whole day. For the first time in a long time I was speechless. From Wednesday to Friday I wasn't myself..people saw me being so quiet, leaving school so early, not answering my phone not even writing inspirational messages on twitter, instead I wrote "I'm a strong follower of the word believe, but for the first time in my life, I'm struggling to believe". Maybe it was because it was the first time I had actually done what I was saying I'd do "Work even when your sleeping" etc. Maybe it was because it was the first time I had worked sooo hard on something and was not relying on the false belief "Hope" "Luck" that I would get the part, that what people had being saying to me through these years "its not just about working hard/how hard you work" was TRUE, fortunately that wasn't the case, but it was a really nervy movement and made me realize how HARD I will have to work to get into Drama School on my first attempt...BIG ASK, I know but we will have to wait and see...The #BigDream Continues....
P.S.
To the two girls I wrote a private message on Facebook...don't forget what I said...and don't let anyone tell you it isn't true..cause it is
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