Really trying man...please don't break me down

11th June 2013

Just had one of those days which started off well and now it's like.... Aaah what a shit day. Recently I've been doing well, keeping myself busy busy busy. Doing stuff here and there. Slowly getting back to that actor I was last year.

Last night constructed of seeing my boys, whom I haven't seen for ages and just learning lines and doing a lot of character work for an audition I was told about very last minute(how most of them are). Whilst they slept I was there doing work right up until 4:47 when I went to sleep for an hour and a bit to wake up at 6:19. From there I rush to get to a location for a short film I'm involved in for 9. Get a phonecall from a close friend letting me know he has got a part as a series regular by a tv soap whom has a large audience, so I'm obviously estatic for him. Anyways Finish shooting what we needed to shoot for short film at 12, and my performances from what the director said are pretty much near perfect take after take, from there I run to central London for 1:15 to do this audition. The audition starts half an hour late & from the get go I just Get the feeling the casting director doesn't think I'm the one for the role. Prior to my audition she speaks to an auditionee who will be after me about some improvisation they will do... As my audition takes place, no improvisation scene is opened up to me.... She also just didn't seem to like my ideas which I had been working on right up till near 5am this morning. Anyway I leave the audition room gutted... Knowing that's another opportunity gone. The irony of the situation, today is a year today we had our showcase, the year, the day the world of auditioning would open up to me, surely a dream? A dream that slowly becomes more and more painful...

But heads up as they say, next one.. You can only judge your career at the end.... I'll try.

J x