What Flavour Smoothie?

The Blender being my head, my thoughts being the fruits, there being so many different fruits equals many different thoughts, the fruits, the thoughts = the smoothie.

The phonecall I got on Friday is one I didn't expect/imagine to recieve for a while yet. The type of conversation I did not think would come for me. The words I thought were so far away from the current circumference I am. The words being "they would like to offer you the job!" For that Friday was the moment I got my first professional credit with the agency, the people who had seen so much in me and kept on supporting me through this tough & arduous year.

The moment came when I was on the bus to meet some friends who I deem as family more than friends. That meeting would of consisted of me talking about how I am doing my own thing at the moment of creating my own company and meeting some fantastic people and organised a fantastic team, and a team who can help me give back to people but also help myself out, I would of spoken of also myself being in a more positive of mind due to my incredible summer and feeling as if I was becoming a young man, but conversation would of also touched on the thoughts that linger in the back of the mind if I would ever get that first credit with my agency. Yes the thought had got smaller and it wasn't as powerful and it was not clouding my mind as much as moments prior to summer, but it was still there. So for that phonecall to change an element of the conversation I was going to have was incredible. Also to see the reaction of the people I call my brothers was a moment I will never forget. The reaction of people(you know who you are) who have been there with me through my darkest moments. To see the reaction of my mum when I got back home, the reaction of my dad was beautiful. I live for these moments of seeing these people you love happy and proud of you.

The funny thing about this though and the moment I realised I had actually become a "Actor" was the moment I already began to think way ahead... Will I work again after this job though, instead of embracing the moment. 

"Don't think about it too much, too much, too much too much, there's no need for us to rush this through" Drake - Too Much Feat Sampha. (2013 - Nothing Was The Same)

Today, 29th September, The day before my birthday. Glass of Red Wine in my left hand and I guess these are just lonely thoughts...

Does the frustration ever end?

J x