So it's the 10th of November 2011, tomorrow is 11/11/11 <<LOL thought I'd add that in(wasn't even funny). Feels like I haven't done this in a while(write a blog) I definitely haven't written on my iPhone notes for a while. I have this crazy weird thing in stomach, feels like a fireball just spinning, weird I know, but it's a good feeling. That inspiration spark, not that I had lost it, but it wasn't as HOT as it is now. To be honest I had the spark, but it was most likely for the wrong reasons...to prove something to people that I don't need to prove , to prove myself that I can do amazingly well with this character & play. However I don't need to do this & to be honest I've already done this, i'll always question it myself "actors always want to be loved" people will question that statement, but if your an actor think carefully about it. I guess it's that self doubt that I will forever have especially going into to an industry like acting. That self doubt that I attempt to play off/ lie/ portray as confidence, to friends, girls..basically I'm an emotional wreck lol..maybe that's why I find such comfort in acting, not being myself. Find comfort in Blogging cause it's my way of popping the bottle cause I bottle my emotions..
This blog, this spark of inspiration, this fireball spinning in my stomach has come from me just leaving from my visit to the Mildmay Hospital for HIV. I don't have AIDS Or HIV but the next character I play named Prior Walter does. I done a lot of research online and learnt a lot but there is nothing like actually meeting people at this Hospital dedicated to AIDS. Meeting people who have the virus and meeting doctors/nurses/ physiotherapists working with these people and doing incredible things. It was truly an amazing experience, one that I will honestly never forget. One that will hopefully allow me to bring a real honesty to my performance, one that will hopefully touch people's hearts, cause come January time that's what hopefully we will do in our 3 performances. Take Care XO
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