"Brain leave me be..." King Krule - Cementality- (6 Feet beneath the moon- 2013)
It's only been a week and a bit since I was doing what I love, acting. Acting, working alongside incredible actors, learning, away from home in a hotel somewhere and now it's back to the routine of work, the routine you don't love. It's only been a week, and you try as hard as you possibly can to not delude yourself that everything will change once you start working professionally(as an actor) and as much you try it's still hard to not be disappointed by the absence of sound of that one phonecall possibly leads on to other things.
"And I still be asking God to show his face" Chance The Rapper - Acid Rain (Acid Rap - 2013)
Then I say to myself get a grip, it's only been a week. Chill The F**k out. Enjoy those moments, use this time to reflect, appreciate, but the immediate response to that is sometimes how can I chill? The wounds of being unemployed for a year, the mute sound of rejection after rejection are still yet to be fully healed. Yes there's the feeling of have faith in yourself you can do this, but it's a scary time when that faith isn't bright or strong enough to combat with the thoughts of that was just a fluke.
“The deeper I go into myself the more Irealise that I am my own enemy.” - Floriano Martins.
The tube has stopped. Thank F**k for that. I'm outside I have signal, I'm no longer left alone with my thoughts. It's fine. It's fine. I'm fine No seriously I'm fine.
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