Monday 16th May 2011, The day of the assessment. A Shakespeare assessment, a dualogue that me & the amazing Georgia James as i was saying in earlier blogs had rehearsed,the legendary act 2 scene 2 "Macbeth shall sleep no more". Yeah that one, dreamed constantly of putting out and doing this amazing scene that would blow people's mind, well I guess today must of been the nightmare, because it didn't go as well as we dreamed of it.
It was just flat, and I didn't feel like I gave my best at all. That's the most annoying thing especially when you have worked so hard on it. Even though the audience seemed to enjoy it, us using KETCHUP as we couldn't get any fake blood the judges, the teachers(voice expert teachers) didn't, and I was shown that by the grade given to me. It's a situation where you think, if only they knew how hard I worked on it, if only they knew. One of those situations where you think to yourself, why am I even trying? Coming in an hour earlier than everyone else and leaving hours later just rehearsing and training...isit worth it? Do these people have a personal hate against me? Or do these people have extremely high expectations of me and expect me to be at a certain level and just want to push me. You begin to ask yourself all these questions and have mixed feelings of anger, frustration and disappointment. Anger at your grade and the teachers, frustration at your performance wanting to do it again and disapointment at the teachers not knowing and understanding how much work you put in, and disappointment in yourself. But I guess this is the journey you chose, the risk you took, the contract you signed, agreeing with yourself of the setbacks you would meet on this journey, it's also you(me) overreacting, and if you think this is bad remember the day before you were supposed to shoot for the coca cola advert and you got dropped... It's a shit feeling but remember to look at all the positives and stop worrying about the negatives, and carry on learning.
Frustrated Post...
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